Choices

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. - Phillipians 4:13

I know that this post is technically a few minutes late, and even though it is the first post of 2012, it probably won't be the last late post for the year...lol Lately, I have been reflecting on what choices are and why I have made the decisions I have in my life. This topic has even influenced a number of dreams that I have had recently.

While choices are not a bad thing, they are one of many two-edged swords in the world around us. While every choice made is done so with an individual set of circumstances and environment, there is always a simultaneous positive and negative outcome. With the positive comes the possibility of the shiny and new: something that one has never experienced before, a chance for a new beginning, or to build new relationships. With the negative, there are hurt feelings, a sense of abandonment or betrayal, and an overall feeling of sadness..

There are far too many factors that contribute to a person's final decision of how to remedy a choice and make a decision for one to just go consult a master source on the best decision. Ultimately the choices that we make, no matter the influences or factors, are made by deeply personal feelings and senses of responsibility. Nobody other than the actual person making the decision can understand exactly the struggle and pain gone through to pick the right outcome that is the best choice for them and hurts the least number of those closest to them.

I personally will admit that I, rather than failing to analyze my choices, then to over analyze decisions and constantly question myself if I made the right choice. To some extent, this is good, but should I ever get to the point that I cannot function without questioning why I am doing something, I know I have a problem.

As I write this, I am reminded of a quote from the 1995 film, The Bridges of Madison County, " We are the choices that we have made." To a certain extent this is true. The choices and decisions that we make reflect not only our values and beliefs, but also what kind of person we truly are. While others may not know the reasons why we make certain decisions, they can see that we are doing our best to do what we feel is the right thing.

One of my goals this year is to be there for my friends and family to support them in big decisions that they make this year. This goal is largely influenced by things I have done in the past when I had a worse problem of being extremely co-dependent on people that showed any interest in my life, as well as a principle that I studied this semester, that encourages people to seek to understand first and then be understood. This basic rule stems from Steven Covey and was discussed in a book on classroom management. The idea behind it is fairly simple. When you are trying to help someone make a decision, it is more helpful to first understand exact decision being made rather than giving reasons for a certain choice.

By taking the time and energy to do this during 2012, I feel as though I can become a better person, friends, and Christian example. I know that I am already being put to the test on this goal this year as some very good friends and mentors are facing some difficult choices in the coming months. No matter what they decide, I know that it is ultimately their decision is made on a personal level and that it is best if I support them rather than trying to change their mind in favor of something I feel is the right choice.

- C